The Fancy Food Show was filled with some amazing new products (read about 13 of them here), but, inevitably, there were a few fantastic flops. We can all only hope and pray that these items don’t make it to market shelves.
“It’s very popular with Hawaiians,” the gentleman at this booth assured me, when I asked who would ever want to eat a coconut flavored cheese. You’d think it would be made with coconut milk for the lactose intolerant crowd, but the first ingredient is cow’s milk. Another point: though it’s wonderful to pair cheeses with sweet tropical flavors, the cheese itself should never be sweet and tropical. A true abomination.
Italian Pizza Flavored Vinegar by PGM Piazza Grande
This couldn’t be tomato vinegar or basil-oregano vinegar. No, it had to be Italian pizza flavored vinegar. A completely unnecessary bastardization that’s equal parts gimmick and gross. The gummy bear flavored vodka of the salad dressing aisle.
Road Kill Grill Meat Rub
It’s impossible to resist stopping to look at a seasoning mix emblazoned with the tagline “Makes all critters taste great!” I’m not sure how this would taste on day-old possum or a flattened raccoon, but I’m never going to find out. If someone found this on my spice rack, it would be as embarrassing as discovering margarine in my refrigerator. #nevergoingtohappen
Have you ever thought to yourself, “I’m in the mood for something sweet, but I also need to get in my fiber quota for the day?” Well, now you can with this candy bar packed with ancient grains. One major problem: you shouldn’t head to the candy aisle when you’re looking for something to keep you regular. That’s just plain weird. My advice to produced similar results would be have a bowl of Kashi cereal for breakfast and splurge on Chuao’s Pop Corn Pop chocolate bar for dessert later that day.